


Birthday Smash

by Wrenchit



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blow Jobs, Dildos, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Masturbation, Mirror Sex, PIV Sex, Planned Sex, Size Difference, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Xeno, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 15:17:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrenchit/pseuds/Wrenchit
Summary: How does one sexually experiment with a giant robot? Well, the first thing to do is consider your own mortality. The second thing is to call in a favor from your medic buddy.





	Birthday Smash

Miko noodled around with her guitar, waiting for a familiar green glow to rip through the warehouse. Spastic, nervous notes crackled through the air, electric in sound and feeling. The amp she was sitting on groaned lowly with static- it was an old one she had found at a garage sale after moving back to America for college. Business and Music double major; it had been the only way to get her parents to let her follow her passion at all and still pay for school.

Ratchet was working on something off in the corner, grumbling to himself. The smell of ozone and burnt copper lingered in the air around them, making Miko’s nose tickle, but she didn’t move from her spot. She was too excited to get up and potentially miss the arrival of her guest. It was her birthday today, and she was going to live it up hardcore.

Being eighteen meant a lot of things; you were a legal adult in the majority of the world, able to get in as much trouble as you wanted without your parents being able to say anything, provided that you weren’t still living under their roof. Effectively, you were about as free as you could be in the modern era. For Miko, it had meant beginning planning for something she’d wanted to do for a long time. Now, she was nineteen, what she considered to be the real age to celebrate.

The warehouse suddenly burst into green flames, bright swirling light washing out everything in sight. The force of the space bridge opening blew Miko’s hair back and silenced her guitar in an instant, it’s final yowling note careening into silence. In the distance of the light tunnel, she could see a familiar, hulking form making its way towards her. Her face nearly cracked in half with the grin that plastered itself on.

“Buuuuuuuulkhead!” She sprinted towards him, connecting with his leg as the bridge closed. Behind her, Ratchet groaned loudly, putting his face in his servo.

“Miko!” Bulkhead picked her up, tossing her into the air like a baby and catching her in a firm hug against his faceplate. “Happy birthday!” Miko hugged him back, her thin arms barely reaching the hinges of his chin guard.

“I hope you’re ready for the best fuck of your life, Bulk!” Bulkhead snorted. Right, the primary reason he was here- Miko wanted to try interfacing with a Cybertronian.

There had been stipulations to doing this; Bulkhead had refused to discuss it even jokingly until Miko had hit the legal age of adulthood for humans. He absolutely refused to get labeled something nasty by the Earth government if they caught wind of what was happening today. There was already a gigantic age difference between them- literally millions of years- making things a little weird on the human side. Bulkhead had spent a good portion of the last year poring over every law book he could find, double and triple-checking anything relating to extraterrestrial relations. Miko fell well within the guidelines on what was okay for a Cybertronian to consider romantically… not that Bulkhead was doing this for romance. He was Miko’s friend, and the only one who he considered safe enough for her to experiment with; he didn’t want her to get hurt by someone who didn’t know the first thing about humans. Bulkhead may not have been the most graceful mech, but he at least knew what he was working with in this case.

“It had completely, blissfully slipped my mind that this was happening.” Ratchet deactivated the blowtorch, letting it transform back into his forearm. Miko was pushing on Bulkhead’s optical socket with all her might, trying to get him turned in the direction of his bunk room. Bulkhead, of course, didn’t budge. He smiled anxiously at Ratchet as he shifted his grip on Miko to seat her on his shoulder. He slapped a cube of high-grade into Ratchet’s servo. 

“For the trouble,” he said.

The most important stipulation Bulkhead had put into place was getting a medical professional involved. Miko really hadn’t wanted to, but Bulkhead had given her a choice between Ratchet, Knock Out and Jack’s mom, and Miko would die a gruesome death before she let June Darby or the ex-Con within two hundred yards of her sex life. Ratchet was a grump, and clearly disapproved of this whole thing, but at least he’d shut up about it. June’s momish sensibilities meant that she would try to talk Miko down until after the deed was done. Knock Out, on the other end of the spectrum, would be really creepy about the whole thing and possibly try to insert himself into the situation even more… she assumed. She and Knock Out didn’t really talk.

Ratchet had tested both their bodily fluids to make sure nothing was toxic or corrosive to either of them, especially on Miko’s end. A spike could be replaced without much hassle, but with how organic humans were, it would take a lot of doing to fix up her internal organs if anything went awry. There’d also been measurements taken, and the installation of a minibot adapter to Bulkhead’s interface array. Miko had loaned Ratchet a few of her old biology textbooks, and then helped him build a shrink ray to help get the tools he had on-hand to a human size when the medical supply shop wouldn’t sell her a speculum. She hadn’t ever imagined herself with a robot-space-alien gyno, but life had a funny way of working out.

Ratchet eyed the cube, placing it on the table next to him. “I’m sure I’ll need it.” He turned to the computer, tapping at keys pointedly. “Well, I can’t get this project done until you’re finished, so you better go ahead and get started. I’ll keep an audial out for any horrific screams of pain.”

“Bulkhead, c’mon!” Miko had devolved to slapping at his face. Bulkhead nodded at Ratchet and poked at Miko to make her stop. Ratchet waved them away as Bulkhead lumbered down the hall. Once they were out of sight, he checked the systems that the airflow to Bulkhead’s room was good.

Bulkhead’s room was enough for him, but it was huge for any human. Miko had taken advantage of this, after much begging and pleading at Bulkhead- it wasn’t like he was using the space anyway. She’d converted the floor space into her own personal bachelorette pad, complete with instant transport to campus via ground bridge. The door slid open to reveal a very grunge-rock aesthetic coating the whole space. Posters from countless shows both Miko and Bulkhead had been to plastered the walls, including some massive ones from Cybertron itself.

Bulkhead maneuvered himself carefully, tip-toeing around the people-sized furniture and seating himself on the berth chained to the wall. He very nearly squished the bag Miko had tossed onto it earlier, but saw it before anything befell it. He scootched it off to the side, still within easy reach for later.

He got comfortable, lounging on his back. Miko climbed up onto the pointed swell of his chestplate, straddling it. Her thighs squished against the warm, humming metal. Bulkhead shut his optics, sighing.

Miko tapped his armor. “Hey. The fans.”

“Huh?” He shuttered his optics open. “Oh, right.” He leaned over to the wall and flicked the vent open, the thin breeze of AC now wafting around the room. He’d tested it beforehand; the exhaust that got put out during strenuous activities could potentially get dangerous for Miko without ventilation. He rested his servos on either side of her, digits barely brushing against her. 

Miko started to take her pigtails down, her choppy hair falling flat against the side of her face. She was frowning.

Bulkhead tilted his head. “You good?”

“Scalp hurts,” she murmured, working a small tangle out of her locks. “I did them too tight.” She pulled the second pigtail down and it mirrored the first. She shook her head like a dog, hair flaring out.

Bulkhead watched her finish taking her hair down. When she was done, he ruffled it, laughing when she tried to swat him away. She stuck her tongue out at him and made a funny quacking noise. Miko shook her hair out again, letting it fall into its natural, poorly-cut state. She leaned down and kissed Bulkhead’s chin guard.

“Aww,” Bulkhead smiled. “Thanks.”

“No no no,” Miko patted the side of his guard. “Thank you, for doing this for me.” She pulled her shirts over her head, exposing her small breasts. Bulkhead blinked.

“Isn’t there another thing that’s supposed to go between the skin and clothes?”

Miko rolled her eyes. “I didn’t bother. No point in delaying your first exposure to boobs.” She sat up, letting Bulkhead get a good look, framing her hands under them. “You wanna touch?”

“Uh, sure.” Bulkhead picked up a servo, being very mindful of where his elbow joint was. He poked Miko’s right breast with a single digit, the fat deforming under his touch, a dark nipple squishing up towards the ceiling.

Bulkhead stared her down, deathly serious. “Was it good for you, too?”

Miko snorted. He added just a touch of pressure, squishing. “These are fun.”

“Yeah they are,” Miko grinned, unzipping her shorts as she let Bulkhead play around with her tits. He added a second servo, poking at both now. As he did, Miko glanced up at the ceiling, where the mirror had been installed a couple months prior.

The biggest hurdle they were facing at this point wasn’t so much the sheer difference in size, as it was the way Bulkhead’s proportions worked out. He was mostly torso, and a rather thick one at that; flat out, he wouldn’t be able to see Miko during the main event through normal means. With the help of the mirror, he could make sure she wasn’t hurt without asking every three seconds.

Miko had found the mirror in a foreclosed dance studio. What she’d been doing trespassing on property she didn’t own wasn’t clear to Bulkhead- something about geocaching- but it worked very well for their endeavors for the day. Miko had to admit, it was going to be a nice view. She shifted her hips back, breaking away from the contact with Bulkhead’s servos. 

“Awwww!”

“You’ll get them back!” She said. “I gotta finish getting undressed!” She slipped her shorts off, then her underwear- nothing fancy, since Bulkhead didn’t really get clothes. She lifted the waistband of her garter belt, when Bulkhead put up a digit. 

“You should keep those on.” Was that a bashful smile? Miko certainly thought it was. Bulkhead’s optics drifted off to the side, embarrassed. “They look nice.”

Miko smirked, letting the elastic snap back into place against her skin. Her belly jiggled ever so slightly as it did. “You want the boots, too?” Bulkhead immediately relaxed. 

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“Anything for you, bud.”

Miko balled up her clothes and threw them over the side of the berth. Maybe they’d even landed somewhere near the laundry basket, she didn’t know. Bulkhead’s body was warming up to meet skin temperature under her butt.

“Didn’t take you for the kind of guy who’s into thigh highs, Bulk.” She snapped the garters as she spoke, letting them hit her thighs. Bulkhead watched her, transfixed. Miko had never seen him like this before. It was fascinating, and somewhat endearing, and also a total turn-on.

“Me neither.” He swallowed, tearing his optics away from her legs. “You want your bag?”

“Heck yeah!” Miko threw her arms in the air. Bulkhead picked it up by the drawstrings and dropped it into her hands. She shrilled, tearing what she referred to as the “bag butthole” open and spilling sex toys all over Bulkhead’s chestplate. A couple bounced off and fell down who knows where. She grabbed a decently-sized suction-cup dildo and an economy-sized bottle of water-based lubricant.

Miko leaned back, her hips canting up towards the ceiling. Her bush was trimmed into a neat X-shape; she’d been playing around with shapes, trying to figure out something truly Miko-brand outrageous. Bulkhead leaned up on his elbows, and she tucked her heels into the ridge in his armor to account for the slight change in elevation.

“Can you see okay?” Miko asked as she started slathering the silicone cock with lube.

“Oh yeah.” Bulkhead craned his helm forward, chin guard scraping against the top of his chestplate. “I got the best seat in the house.”

“You are the best seat in the house,” Miko muttered, slapping her dildo down onto his plating with a meaty 𝘵𝘩𝘸𝘰𝘬. She tugged on it, making sure it was stuck good and tight. Satisfied, she rose up on her knees. This part, out of all the weird things she was going to do today, was pretty familiar- robotic voyeur notwithstanding.

Miko dipped down, letting the head of the dick kiss her lips. She ground against it, the shaft sliding against her folds. The tip dipped in a bit, and Miko went with its suggestion. She plunged down and took it to the hilt in a single, smooth motion. Bulkhead watched as she let her position shift minutely to better fit the dick inside her. She bounced, and seemed satisfied.

Miko slapped his chest. “Okay, let ‘er rip!”

Bulkhead’s engine roared to life, kicking straight into a rumbling that shook his frame fiercely. The vibrations shot up into Miko, making her squirm. She rocked on the rubber dick, her clit grinding against the metal she was seated on.

“やばい! Oh my goooood, this is awesome!” Her voice vibrated along with her body. “Bulkhead, why didn’t you tell me you were such a good fuck?” She yelled.  
Miko started fucking herself roughly, her ass smacking against Bulkhead with every downstroke.

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up!” He laughed, watching her just go at it. He remembered months ago when they’d been hashing out the details, and the ONE thing Miko had asked for was for him to rev his engine during the pre-game. She’d explained why, but it seemed that seeing really was believing in this case.

Miko groaned. The dildo dragged against her walls, sending sparks up her spine and through her stomach. She wasn’t going to last long, not that she necessarily wanted to. Her pussy was already soaking, letting out squelching noises with every down thrust. Bulkhead kicked his engine up a notch right as she brought herself down, making her squeal.

She scrambled forward to grab at Bulkhead’s servos, fingernails scraping against his digit joints. Curious, he let her have one. Miko yanked Bulkhead’s servo towards her, crashing it into her torso. She humped into his chest plate, whining for contact.

“C’moooooon!”

Tentatively, Bulkhead brushed the back of his digits against her chest, the sheer surface area of them catching her nipples in the movement. Mike’s head rolled back, her hands tightening against Bulkhead’s wrist joint. She nodded, frantic. Bulkhead bit his lip behind his chin guard and repeated the motion, shrinking down his area of movement to better focus on her breasts.

Miko bit her lip, grunting through her teeth as she orgasmed, rutting through it. Bulkhead revved a few times to help her through it, cutting his engine off once she slumped over.

Bulkhead relaxed back onto the berth, his shoulders clanging loudly. Miko shot forward with the motion, the dildo slipping most of the way out as she smacked her face into the jutting front of Bulkhead’s chestplate. The rubber cock sprung back into its default position, poking up into the air behind her.

“Ah, Primus!” Bulkhead’s servos hovered over her. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?” He wished he could sit up without throwing her across the room.

“No,” she grumbled, rubbing her face. 

“Wait, ah-”

“No, I’m good. Let’s do this.” 

Bulkhead’s arms dropped. Of course she was fine. Miko didn’t let something as minor as a potential broken nose get in the way of a good time. 

“You sure you don’t want a breather?” Bulkhead ghosted a servo over her back. “You looked like you went pretty hard there.” Miko waved her hands around, as if clearing away the very concept of a break.

“I’m a sex goddess! I don’t need a stinkin’ breather!” She flexed her biceps, displaying her godhood status. “Let’s do this!” 

She plucked her used dildo off of Bulkhead and tossed it to the side. It bounced away, flapping like a surreal, sexual bird. Miko clambered down from Bulkhead’s chest plate towards his hip struts. Leaning over his array cover plate, she knocked on it, shave-and-a-haircut style. Her legs swung behind her, the stripes of her stockings turning into arcs with the motion.

Bulkhead deployed his interface array. Out shot the two spikes, one for Miko’s inside and one for her outside. The minibot spike-adapter was the smallest Bulkhead had been able to find, standing at a still-massive ten and a half inches. Miko sat up and clapped, clearly excited. She turned around to face Bulkhead, smiling wide as she gave him a thumb’s up.

“It’s perfect!”

It was a dark gray, banded from tip to base with brightly glowing neon green biolights. The cover was similar to silicone, protecting the sensitive inner workings of any valve- or vagina- from the hard metal workings underneath The length was smooth, save for the line of slight bumps on the dorsal side, as per Miko’s request.

The mini-adapter was dwarfed by Bulkhead’s primary shaft, which sat as tall as Miko as she straddled Bulkhead’s crotch. They had very similar color schemes; Bulkhead had sprung for the custom work on the adapter. Down below, she could feel the distant heat of his valve hitting her back. Bulkhead wasn’t interested in valve play, so they hadn’t really discussed it. Miko figured that would be something she could explore with other mechs later on. Grabbing the lube again, Miko slicked up the adapter spike with both hands. Her fingers glided over the head, and Bulkhead shivered under her.

Miko pushed her hands down to his base, squeezing as she leaned down to rub her cheek against his tip. She turned her head and licked his shaft, smirking when he twitched under her caress. Miko yawned, stretching her jaw, before swooping down and stuffing Bulkhead into her mouth. This wasn’t her first rodeo; she managed to get over half of him down her throat the first try. She hummed with happiness, despite wishing she hadn’t been so quick with the lubricant- not the best taste in the world.

“Miko!” Bulkhead cried out, flustered. He knew she’d been eager, but this was a lot for him right off the bat. He gripped at his hips hard enough to dent, not wanting to buck up and send her flying. “Where did you learn to do that?!”

“Hmmm hm hm hmmph!” Said Miko. She smiled to herself, very much enjoying how flustered Bulkhead was already. He hadn’t really been able to participate up to this point, though she had certainly noticed how much he’d liked watching. She was beyond ready to let him have a little fun of his own. What kind of a friend would she be if she didn’t?

Bobbing her head, she took as much as she could. Miko had sucked dick before, but this was a decent degree larger than anything she’d taken prior. Still, she managed a good eight inches before it got too wide for her mouth. She glanced up at the mirror, her eyes meeting Bulkhead’s in the reflection. 

Miko waved him down, and he reached down towards her slowly. She snagged one of his digits and touched it to the front of her throat, where the adapter shaft forced it to distend. She surged downward, letting him feel the bulge that was his spike move inside her. Bulkhead gasped, a sound that ground into a growl as it went on. Miko went on sucking spike, her tongue pressing into the skin on the underside when she felt the tingly warmth of the biolights. She could feel the rumble kicking back into Bulkhead’s engine, unconscious this time. 

He pet her hair, brushing it away from her face. He couldn’t manage to get the piece stuck to the corner of her mouth, though the effort was appreciated. Tender Bulkhead was very cute to see. 

This experimentation was fun, but she was ready to move things along. She sat up, sliding off the shelf of his torso to get entirely onto his pelvic region. Plopping down, she scooted her crotch towards his adapter spike.

“Okay, bye.” Bulkhead grumbled, annoyed with the sudden loss of stimulation.

“Oh, be quiet you big baby.” Miko slid her pussy against his spike like she had with the dildo. “I promise you’ll be back to having a good time, soon as I manage this monster.” She was going to have to take her time with this.

Miko grabbed the lube, for what she hoped would be the last time, and added another healthy coating to the spike. She squished some up into herself too for good measure. They had agreed on going with the reverse cowgirl position- after Miko had shown him some clips- so she turned around. Angling herself, she looked up in the mirror at Bulkhead. He nodded, giving her his equivalent of a thumb’s up. She gave her own, then oh-so-slowly began the descent.

Her thighs burned with the effort of holding her up as she let Bulkhead’s tip bump into her opening. Lubricant made strings and broke between them. Miko put a hand to her vulvae, spreading the lips as wide as she could. She inched- really, centimetered- down, letting him breach her. The stretch wasn’t bad, something she’d experienced before, for the moment. Above, Bulkhead threaded his servos together, trying his best not to look worried. He was failing spectacularly.

About a third of the way, Miko had to resort to bouncing to fit him into her, standard sinking down no longer getting the job done. Gravity was amazing. Bulkhead didn’t seem to mind either, if the twitching in his fisted servos was any indication. He really needed something to fidget with, it seemed. Why not her?

Halfway there, Miko’s hands shot up into the air, her entire body freezing stock-still. Bulkhead jolted, confused. His digits made ticking noises against each other. 

“I need help,” she said, her calm demeanor only interrupted by the heavy blush coating her entire upper half. “Grab on my hips, Bulk, and stop freaking out.” He grimaced, but didn’t try to defend himself.

His digits fluttered in the air, momentarily unsure, before coming to rest shockingly gentle on her waist. The added weight of his servos made her sink another inch down, the girth of his spike starting to give her a nice burn. This was good. This was still good.

“Nice,” She looked back and up at him, giving him a smile. “Now just pull me down. I’ll help.” Beneath her, her legs relaxed some, the slack leaving Bulkhead with more to work with. He pushed with unbearable slowness, the glide of rubber against flesh almost imperceivable. Miko placed her own hands on top of Bulkhead’s, encouraging him with the soft stroke of her fingers. 

Bulkhead’s engine revved hard in response to the intimacy, spooking Miko so that she suddenly slipped down on his spike and hit maximum capacity. The wind was knocked out of her, her hands flapping at her face.

“Goodgoodgoodgoodgood! Stop!” She wheezed. Bulkhead’s servos snapped away from her as if he’d been burned. Miko leg muscles tightened, keeping her in place. Tentatively, she reached down to check her progress. All but two inches were inside her, lips stretched tight. She twisted around to beam at Bulkhead.

“Ha! We did it!” She panted, catching her breath. She’d never felt this full in her life, not even after her first American Thanksgiving.

Bulkhead groaned. “Yaaaaay…” His servos floated back towards to her hips, wanting very much to start making her move. Miko eyed Bulkhead’s untouched spike, close enough to hug. She got an idea. Her hands fumbled around behind her for the bottle of lube yet again. She snagged it and held it up over her chest. Squeezing the bottle, liquid poured out onto her torso, splattering onto both her and Bulkhead’s legs. She rubbed the lube all over her chest, belly, and arms, until she looked shiny as a dolphin.

“Miko, where are you going with this?” Bulkhead was a bit apprehensive whenever Miko got something into her head, but this was a particularly odd moment.

“Double dick action, my dude.” Miko leaned forward, letting the smaller spike slip out a bit as she wrapped her arms around Bulkhead’s main unit. She hugged it close so her breasts were squishing against his shaft. Once she got a good hold, she sat back down and began setting the pace for their fuck-session, Bulkhead’s servos along for the ride.

Bulkhead coughed, the sudden shift from zero to sixty knocking him on his proverbial aft. Both the spikes had the same amount of tactile sensors and feedback, which meant that Miko’s soft human body rubbing against his main spike was double the pleasure. It was intense, amazing, a totally new and wild experience. Just like Miko. Bulkhead grit out a grin against the overwhelming sensation. He couldn’t imagine lasting a long time with this kind of treatment. Cracking an optic open, he checked the mirror to make sure she wasn’t killing herself down there.

Head tilted back, neck bared to the open air, Miko was more or less screaming with each thrust. Her hair was plastered to her face with sweat. Primus, was she crying? It really looked like she was crying. She wasn’t stopping though. It was either that she’d completely forgotten he was there and had lost complete control of her body, or she was putting on one hell of a show. Bulkhead didn’t think he cared which it was. Hands groped at his main spike, sending little sparkles of pleasure through him.

“いきそう!”

Bulkhead snapped out of his sex-fueled daze. “W-what?” He shook his helm, trying to clear it. He was terrible at Japanese, and this whole… thing wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“I’m close! Don’t stop!” He wasn’t even doing anything, but he wasn’t about to argue. Trying to not be a total starfish, he kicked up his engine again and shoved Miko forward to be flush with his plating. Adding heavy-duty vibration to the mix was turning out to be the special ingredient. Miko shrieked.

“いく~!”

Bulkhead had no idea what she was saying, but the spasming around his spike gave him a pretty good idea of what she meant. Miko didn’t stop moving, though. No, Miko only went harder, throwing herself onto both spikes with more intensity than Bulkhead had ever experienced in a sexual setting. He felt more like the pounded than the pounder, as she rippled around one shaft and started open-mouth tonguing the other. She held his spike like a lover, embraced tight against her burning skin.

Bulkhead was no match for that. With a near-painful rush to his circuits, he overloaded, cumming hard. His dental plates ground together with a squeak. Hot transfluid poured out of both his shafts, Miko squealing as the adapter spike filled her to the point of spilling out around itself. A nanosecond later she shouted as she was doused in more of the stuff from above. Her humping stuttered out, the mighty orgasm finally petering out. She turned back to Bulkhead, who was busy gasping for oxygen.

“Dude… Wow.” She tried to pull herself off of his spike, but her legs wouldn’t move. “Little help?”

“Y… Yeah,” Bulkhead sighed, picking her up and himself out before placing her back onto his pelvic region. “Give me a second. I’m old.”

Miko wiped her hands on her stockings, the leftover lube darkening the fabric. She grabbed her phone from her shorts’ pocket and shot a text to Ratchet letting him know she wasn’t dead. 

After he’d recovered a bit, Bulkhead let her roll off his hips so he could get up and go grab her a towel. He may have dented the towel rack, but he managed to get it to her in one piece. 

Bulkhead draped the towel over her head. Miko reached out from under it and pulled it down onto her shoulders. She began to rub the fabric in circles on her skin, beginning to clean the honestly obscene amounts of fluids off her body. It would take days to get her hair back to normal.

He sat back down on the berth, leaning heavily on his servos. Bulkhead closed his modesty panel, putting his array away. Miko rested against his side, content.

“That was so awesome.” She patted his side. “You're so cool for doing this.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Bulkhead looked down at her. “I had fun too.” He may have needed to get her a second towel. He got back up, heading for the bathroom.

“Sooooo…” she drawled from the berth. Bulkhead rolled his optics; here we go. “Have you talked to any bots who might be into squishies?”

Bulkhead put a servo to his temple. This girl was insatiable.

“…I might know a guy who’d be interested.”

“Bitchin’.”

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn’t even the Bulkhead fic I wanted to finish, but here you go. Don’t see a ton of Prime universe mech/human on AO3, surprisingly enough. I’m sure it’s there, I just haven’t dug that deep. Next fic, more Animated. Stay tuned.
> 
> Hours later, when he returned to Cybertron, Bulkhead had the unique pleasure of having one of the missing dildos flop out of his chest storage cavity and onto the middle of the floor in the middle of a training exercise with Wheeljack and Bumblebee. Bumblebee made sure to take lots of pictures and send them to Miko, who sent them to everyone. Ratchet cracked open the high-grade that night.


End file.
